“Square Peg, Round World”
I asked for guidance recently about marketing my web site. The answer I received made me say “Duh!” Guidance is often like that, in that what it really does is tell us what we already know but haven’t yet brought into sharp focus. (Often because we don’t want to)
So this answer seemed obvious: “You are an unconventional person — why would you choose to pursue conventional marketing advice? It won’t work for you. You will need to allow your creativity to flow freely; then you will find the methods that “work” for you.”
This inspired me to take another look at my life: sure enough, I have almost always been different. But that square peg-ness was extremely painful in my first, oh, 40 years or so. I feel compassion now for the Diane who so desperately kept trying to fit into a world that didn’t accommodate her uniqueness. The thing is, if you haven’t looked within in a serious way over time, how can you know what your needs really are? Most of us think we know, but we don’t.
Here’s a test: How many times have you agreed with someone in the last week without digging deeper to take stock of how you really feel? Then look at your life and ask, “How often have the important events and turning points in my life been governed by “shoulds”? For example, I married my first husband because I was 37 years old and held the belief that if not now, when? There’s a “should” for you.
Or going back further, I went to college right after high school even though I hadn’t a clue about who I was or what I wanted in life. All my friends were going, and it was assumed by all that I would, too. “Here’s the application; pick a major. Well, put SOMETHING down. You can always change it.” Only since my early 40s have I really celebrated my different-ness, and that was pretty wobbly until more recently.
Now I realize that the very qualities I once felt I had to hide are the ones that comprise my gift to this world; it is always so. If there is one pearl of wisdom I could give, it would be this: Choose to dig deeper and find your own different-ness, because within it lies the key to your greatness. Okay, two pearls: If something isn’t working for you — look more closely. Maybe it isn’t meant to, if it doesn’t fit who you really are.