“On Travel and Perspective”
Before I begin this week’s entry, I want to state that the classes I mentioned in last week’s entry are on hold for now. For a number of reasons, I will probably not present anything until spring. So — more on that in a few months.
Having been back from my trip to Cleveland for a couple of weeks now, I am really struck by the connection between travel and perspective. It seems as though I can go along in the same groove daily — repeating my routines, as it were, almost indefinitely. But yank me out of that groove, even for a week, and suddenly I am seeing many things more clearly. I imagine that many of you have had this same experience.
When we drove up to Cleveland, Jim and I were planning to build a house here in Asheville. Two weeks later we are planning to move to Massachusetts at that time instead. What happened? Change is a funny thing — you have to be ripe for it or it doesn’t happen. No one can MAKE you change your mind about anything. That’s nonsense. But if you already have a million little questions swimming around in your noggin, then all it may take is one whack on the side of that noggin and presto — those questions suddenly coalesce and new awareness pops up.
Apparently the questions in my own head had been multiplying over the last few years — questions regarding what I really need in terms of where I live. Seven days in Cleveland and I know I belong in New England! Realizations happen in just that way, I have found. The simple act of spending time with a few of my good friends in another city was enough to push me out of denial and face my true needs. Let’s face it — we are all in denial about various things in our lives. It’s the American way.
We have fears, mostly about change, it can seem much easier to not rock the boat. The problem is, the nagging questions in the head don’t go away — they get louder over time, and more difficult to suppress. Sometimes we project them on to something else, so fearful are we of looking at what we really need to thrive. I thought I had invested so much in my choice to leave Cleveland and be here in Asheville — but the truth is, a couple of very important needs were not being met.
On our drive home from Ohio, I decided to blurt out to Jim some of my feelings of unhappiness, and I wasn’t too surprised to hear him agree with me. A few days later, I asked for guidance about how to know where to live among the numerous options we seem to have. Among other things, I was guided to spend some time thinking about what my needs really are — particularly those which determine where I live.
This turned out to be extremely helpful; out of six major needs, I have two that are not being met. At this time in my life, it’s clear to me that I will not be happy allowing one third of my major needs to go unmet. Sure, there’s plenty of natural beauty, space, and a benign climate here; what there isn’t is: people of my kind (bright, Northern, liberal, irreverent, literate, humorous, compassionate) and a close proximity to culture: museums, plays, etc.. Oh, there are some folks that fit the description I just gave, but not many.
Mostly this is a Southern culture, and I have never acclimated. Let me put it this way — hearing country music on the loudspeaker in every single store I walk into here is a form of water torture, and I need to be released. I realize not all of you will agree with me about that, and that’s as it should be. It seems to me that at this particular moment on the planet, when we are speeding towards an uncertain but undeniable destiny, one of the most important things we can each do to assure our individual groundedness is to find the geographical spot on which we feel most at home.
Look around you — what works for you and what doesn’t work so well? Is there something you can do about it right now, or within a year or two? More and more I find that I’m not willing to settle, especially when that means compromising my ability to feel joy on a daily basis. How about you?